This series is based on a chapter in Napoleon Hill’s classic read “Think and Grow Rich” introducing the basic human fears. I dub them the 7 Chakras of Fear. From the fear of Ill Health, Old Age, Death and Criticism, we explore the Fear of Loss of Love.
“There is no fear in love; but perfect love casts out fear, because fear involves torment. But he who fears has not been made perfect in love” (1 John 4:18)
For all, life is suffering a condition from which recovery seems futile. It begins with a parent’s love for a child – a mother’s self-sacrifice, a father’s faithful devotion. Our birthright of suffering evolves from their unconditional love; an Eden no other earthly experience can replicate.
Acknowledged, not every child is blessed to parents able of giving love unconditionally, nor are we all born into love that remains past infancy. Yet most newborns find nurture in some way, which summarily opens a wound only one strain of love can ever heal. Our wound? Our deepest human fear: that we are not enough, and we will be separate from love.
Teens and young adults leave the nest responding to the siren call of intimate love, most with a love blueprint drafted on memories of being coddled as a baby, indulged as a child and forgiven as a teen. Leaving home – leaving unconditional love – is to descend into a world that coddles no one, indulges – but with consequences, forgives – but at a price, and dispenses love with conditions…pending. Compelled, like salmon migrating back up stream, we seek to find what was once effortless, to remake where we began…to love without fear.
The fear of losing love is an anxiety that never fatigues. By definition, fear is an emotion sensitive to a perceived threat. “Till death do us part”, is a vow that exposes our fixation to make love a guarantee. Sad though, even when the partner remains, nothing can guarantee love will remain in them.
Love lost is the most damning of all human fears. As much as love creates wonder, lost love stirs destruction in body, mind and soul. The pain of love lost is stuff of legend, lore and personal memory. Books and scripts fill libraries with literary accounts of lost love, it stains the walls of fine-art galleries with pained beauty, and it scores the soundtrack of every heart that has ever loved, and lost.
Love lost…who hasn’t been dumped at the gates of that hell? Who hasn’t been perpetrator-victim of divisive, dangerous or desperate thoughts? Who hasn’t tasted jealousy ~ the bitter poison in the wine of love? Who hasn’t tried not to hurt, or to be hurt, and failed? Who hasn’t mistaken love for its foils: infatuation and lust? Who hasn’t sought out love and found in its stead, fear? And who hasn’t come to realize unconditional love is not an act of being loved, rather one of loving…unconditionally.
Love is the only sane and satisfactory answer to the problem of human existence. Erich Fromm
Nice ending quote and a truly enjoyable read. Thank you Chris!!
Finding myself in recovery mode after the loss of love, this touched me in a special way. Am learning to love myself again.