Woman, Unlimited!

gaggedBefore you read forward let me set the stage. If you know me then you likely know my belief: Feminine and Masculine energies when brought into harmony and combined make the most potent force in all creation. Unfortunate that we keep half of our human potential – the Feminine – marginalized and subdued. My passion, as a writer, is to explore and share how gender synergy can be realized.

What I have come to know is that no man can be the liberator of women. Heroes, and heroines, even those with pure hearts, can’t but help find themselves placed on pedestals by those they aid. It’s the natural relationship between hero and so called victim. Inevitably the sum is inequality. It’s the very same phenomenon that compels Feminine to be its own liberator, and women to be their own champion.

On that theme, these words from Kim Kiyosaki – wife of Rich Dad, Poor Dad author, Robert Kiyosaki. “It’s not unusual for women’s self esteem to be linked to her ability to provide for herself. When a woman’s self esteem rises, the relationships around her tend to also improve. Higher self esteem leads to greater success, which leads ultimately to the greatest gift of all – freedom.”

Man-Made Hurdles:

  • 80% of single-parent families are headed by women (Canadian Women’s Foundation)
  • 66% of minimum wage earners are female. (Canadian Women’s Foundation)
  • Single moms’ average net worth is $17,000; single dads’ $80,000 (Canadian Women’s Foundation)
  • On average, women do 4.2 hours a day of unpaid work (childcare, housework, meal preparation, eldercare etc.); men do 2.2 hours on average (Canadian Women’s Foundation)
  • The more a job is considered ‘women’s work’ the less it pays. (Canadian Women’s Foundation)
  • 70% of part-time workers are women. (Status of women in Canada)
  • 47% of women over 50 are single (financially responsible for themselves)
  • Of the elderly living in poverty, three out of four are women (Morningstar Fund Investor)
  • Seven out of ten women will at some time live in poverty

Today fewer and fewer women can afford to remain full-time stay-at-home specialists; more and more women are becoming important cogs in the corporate machine. Currently, women represent 47.3% of the labour force.

Unfortunately, there are factors that prevail even today that limit women, especially financially. On average, women with equal education and experience as their counterparts earn 78 cents on every dollar earned by a man. Over an average year of full-time work, a man can earn over $10,000 more than a woman. Calculate that over a working lifetime.

Then, there is the infamous “glass ceiling effect” that keeps qualified women from senior positions. Over the past two decades, men have been chosen two to three times more often for senior roles than women (CBC News); consequences being a cap on earning power.

It’s irresponsible to suggest discrimination as the sole reason why women earn less than men. Reality is that many women, especially single women, and those with children, have to make choices that force them to balance the urgent needs of family with the necessity of career, which of times can boil down to finding enough time and money to make ends meet.

Responsibility for family has – traditionally – kept women at the mercy of, or ‘financially dependent’ on men. Many women who manage to break their home-made bonds and find independence by entering the workforce often end up only shifting their dependence to a new master: a manager, or a boss. For some women these relationships can be just as disempowering as those found in the home.  At minimum, women find themselves trapped into a system that discriminates and denies them equity.

According to the Status of Women in Canada, 71% of Canadian women indicate they would like to start their own business. The challenge has always been start-up costs, and time. Rarely discussed are numbers from the Direct Selling Associating, which in 2013 reported that 74.2% of the Direct Selling Professionals in America are female (91% in Canada).

Logical reason? Historically, many couples have used Network Marketing as an income supplement. With men typically being the primary breadwinner, it was up to women to engage in creating additional income through a stay-at-home business.

That’s the economic reality, however, the real truth as to why women have been massively successful using this business model is often overlooked. Network Marketing is first and foremost about building relationships and women have always approached business with an attitude of connection, collaboration, nurturing and supporting others. Not coincidentally, all skills analogous to raising a family. Men can master those skills, however, with many women it’s DNA-deep.

Unique to Network Marketing is the removal of the glass ceiling. There are no governors to limit a woman’s earning potential. Income is tied directly to personal effort and desire, regardless of gender, race, or age.

I don’t know your personal situation, it might be full-time and secure in a corporate role, part-time and struggling to make ends meet, or somewhere in the middle; but regardless, if your financial future is important to you then these are questions worthy of consideration:

  • What asset do you have under your control today that is generating its own income (i.e., rental property or own business)?
  • What strategies do you employ that provides you with money, not just a survival income, but an income that is consistently creating tangible wealth?
  • Where is the money coming from that will provide you financial independence and insure that you and those that you love are taken care of for the rest of your life, and beyond?

For my lifetime I’ve heard women near and far, young and old cry out for an even playing field with men, a business opportunity where discrimination is a non-issue. Network Marketing embodies that ideal. All personal achievements and earning potential are based solely on an individual’s passion, desire and effort.

Equal opportunity, especially financial equity is a queer concept for many women. For some the notion only provokes suspicion, while for other women it inspires a curiosity to look further into the possibility of eliminating artificial barriers that have keept women from their greatest gift – freedom.

In upcoming articles I’ll introduce you to women in the business of Network Marketing who inspire me and set an example for what’s possible for all. Your feedback and questions deeply encouraged.


Seriously? “Nearly 17 million people (16.8) were involved in direct selling in the United States in 2013, with estimated retail sales reaching $32.67 billion. The direct sales channel continues to experience steady growth, as more individuals generated more revenue in 2013 than any year previously. “ (Direct Selling Association)


Set Free


What words can capture all that has gone, and all that is yet to come between two hearts? What words can one collect in any language to express how one will love and cherish another for a lifetime?

An entire life has been shared between two friends. Seeds of love have grown, and all without the need of affirming, or endearing words. Now, on this our wedding day, words are all we allow ourselves to share between us.

I knew this moment was coming; after all, I had endorsed the suggestion to reserve a space in our ceremony, before the traditional vows, to empty our hearts of words.

That moment had come.

She stood close enough to be touched, though my hands remained respectfully at my side. Her eyes locked into mine, they held me transfixed in a gravity that drew words from the deep caverns of my heart.

A memory, lyrics to a song long remembered came first. “If you love somebody, set them free.”

My entire adult life I’ve admired the message behind those words. They represent to me a standard of love so sacred that it is rarely realized.

Most often, to be loved by someone threatens or dissipates freedom. It’s evident when jealousy, codependence and neediness become gilded cages used to intern those we cherish.

Freedom is rare, and freedom has been your greatest gift to me.

Coming of age, a time in our lives when adolescent hope could have ensnared us into what’s expected – instant marriage and instant family – you selflessly released me to pursue my heart, though it took me many miles and twenty years away from you.

“If you love somebody, set them free” is not an end, it’s a beginning, a knowing that if you are brave enough to set love free, risking that it may not return, there is grace in knowing that this one love was never yours. If, however, love is set free, and it does returns to you, of its own free will, then that one love is eternal.

Of my own free will is how I come to you; love for a lifetime is what I give freely to you – and you alone.

My heart was now empty of words; I felt like a feather, like wings waiting for the wind, a gust of words held within her heart.

Those words, Mellodie shares next.


3 Loves

wedding kiss

…and then hell froze over!

I had done the unimagined – proposed, and now was to be wed.

With hearts set, logistics melted magically into place. Common law was never an option for us considering we met in church as children and a few learned rituals still guided us – the sanctity of marriage being one. Although I must say that eloping was a strong temptation in us – the church of fat Elvis maybe, had that thought not been preempted by another core belief – family.

Age twelve was when I first met her extended family and the instant her aunt Alice threw her arms around my skinny frame I knew my heart had found family, and a home equal to home.

These people, my extended kin, call Northern Saskatchewan home, which more or less ruled out some fat Elvis in Vegas residing over our nuptials. However, fate blessed me with superior inspiration.

So my wife to be, her family name is Love, and literally one kilometer from where we both spent our summers growing up is a small hamlet famous around the world for its name, Love Saskatchewan.

How blessed the thought – the sentiment, the symmetry – to marry my love, named love, in the town of love.

Saturday, August 30, 2014 found us in resplendent garments on the abandoned grounds of the Love Gospel Jamboree. Surrounded by the walls of a rustic white church and bell tower we stepped from one dimension into the unimagined. An intimate pocket of family witnessed as the mayor of a nearby town stood-in for fat Elvis and joined Mellodie Allyn Love and Christopher Anthony Kennedy in holy matrimony.



Ill Proposed


It’s a delicate decision, asking a lifelong friend for her hand in marriage. To gain a wife, but to lose a solid best friend, or to distort a loving friendship beyond recognition is a proposition of substantial risk.

I wonder, are my motives pure, are my reasons genuine, and what are her desires. My conviction is the only leg I have to stand on, and trusting the urging of my heart is my only true guide. As it were, without romance as our common compass I can only fly blind into her vast unknown.

I had no plans of where or when, I had no script rehearsed, no ring wedged into the corner of my pocket, and here the element of surprise was never going to be my ally. Still, courage came.

The evening was warm, it was summer, we walked her dog – a Bichon Shitzu – who when not living up to the second half of his name, is drawn to just lay like a beached whale in the freshly cut grass. It’s on one of these opportune breaks that I present a simple question…why not us.

I saw her head cock to one side as her eyes turned to glass. Her face fell pale, a blank slate for a kaleidoscope of emotions to fill: surprise, disbelief, confusion, bewilderment and back again to surprise. Her eyelids blinked in search of focus, or clarity, for what her ears had just heard. Her weight shifted from one slipper to the next in search of equilibrium, for balance. Words took forever to reach her throat and all that came was a universal plea for give me more time: “Let me think about it”, she blurted.

We both had thoughts to gather of things long taken for granted: our friendship. What were our defined borders and whose rules defined them? Were our separate worlds expandable, combinable, and were we willing to grow into regions uncharted?

The answer returned two weeks hence: yes.


IIX, In Orbit


Such orbits we spin around ourselves, some adrift and fleeting, while others circle so close they threaten to eclipse the very light in our lives. I’ve tasted both: the gravity of relationships where I have stayed distant from love, while sometimes suffocating life in my neediness. Me and she; we have been in orbit together for decades and regardless of the space between we have always navigated to the light of the other.

Twenty years, two decades I was away chasing my passion to play a role in the industry of music, and grooming a lifestyle in a place where the weather more suited my clothes – Vancouver. When I returned to Calgary, a compelling reason was to be by her side as she braced for a second war with cancer.

We were both pups when our mothers brought us from separate corners of the globe to a playpen insulated against the outside world. Church, that’s where we met. For many years the pews was home. It’s where we grew up alongside a smattering of local kids connected by blood or by common heritage. Our connection was less obvious.

She’s an only child who grew up in a tiny town under the care of a deeply religious mother. The DNA of her life circumstance was the same shape as my own, though at our tender age of eleven and twelve the similarities were beyond our notice. Far more enjoyable activities brought us close.

I remember many lost hours spent on Greyhound busses as I joined her on summer pilgrimages back to her family farm. More hours were spent on dusty back roads travelling to all points of northern Saskatchewan becoming acquainted with her family tree. In short time this became my own pilgrimage, and her family also mine.

She was never my girlfriend, though she was my fist kiss; we never dated yet I finish her sentences at every pause; we never spoke of together, yet life has been unable to separate our caring for each other. We never entered into the magic realm of being “in love” though mutual friends accuse us of being the most unmarried married couple alive. We once considered ourselves brother and sister, we matured to best friends and now a new title is being forged, one with pomp and ceremony, and witnesses.


IX Begins a question


“IX ?”

A man much wiser than I recently got all up in my face to tell me that my most precious dream and life ambition was fictitious, a fraud. Not that he couldn’t see into my vision: that the survival of humanity is founded on the purposeful and harmonious interplay of masculine and feminine forces. That a balance must be made right within each individual human being, as well as in the world around us, in order to bring these opposites into union, and humankind into it’s greatest power.

My antagonist – guru – help my convictions, yet threw one question at my conviction. Are you in a relationship now? I was awkwardly sensitive and indignant to the effect his question had on me. There was a measure of smugness in telling him no! I heard the word leave my mouth resonating with a pride I had built around resiliency and self-dependence. I spared him, or myself; however, the absolute truth, which was that I had not been in a relationship for over six years.

The moment passed but the truth inside me held the feeling of walking through a familiar room in darkness and carelessly stubbing a toe. It gets your attention, quickly. And my truth, my pain, was avoidance. I was a man willing to explore the facets of masculine and feminine in the world around me yet closed to allowing the splendor and grace of feminine to reside within my heart and throughout my life.

A question made me question my core conviction: my complete and total commitment to feminine and masculine in harmony. The question has passed, the pain of realizing the truth long subsided.   And so I revise my words, and so begins my yes with she and me.


In 10



In ten days my life will forever be changed. I will no longer be the eligible one. I will no longer have the credentials to wear the badge of the one that always gets away, and I will no longer get to feel that my charms serve everyone.

In ten days I will transport into a new universe, and not be alone. Up to this moment I have lived without sober action taken towards having a partner in my world. Likely I was too much about myself to let anyone in. Irony is, I have come to realize that in order to know myself completely, absolutely – if at all that is possible – it is by way of opening fully, completely to another.

After so many years searching within, my character is well defined and coming more and more into stillness. However, time has also exposed that another half of me lays rustles beneath the surface and churns in turmoil. I realize that only a partner – a commitment to another – can fully open this rich and vibrant stranger in me.

Like a banal stone transforming to diamond, vibrancy comes in resistance to what is, and in time, yielded to a vision of what can be. Over time my resistance has been chipped away with love so that I might see the vitality of life through the vision; the heart and the wisdom of someone separate from me.

In ten days the life I know will have served it’s purpose in preparing me for life with another.